Anger

Our friend Hope came home from the hospital last week. Unfortunately she is having some trouble and may have to go back in to have a chest tube put it. I know this from reading Hope's Journal on the hospital website. Hope's parents are lovely people, but while reading some of the entries I can easily pick up the anger that lies beneath. As I look back through our own posts I can quite easily find that current of anger as well. There is no question that it would make anybody angry to watch their child suffer. But how useful is that emotion to us in coping? If anything it tied us in knots, made us short-tempered, and increased the stress in our lives. We would snap at a moment's provocation. I am pleased to say that we are less angry now. Truthfully we are just very tired. Deb in particular is up most nights with alarms. Grace occasionally falls into such a deep sleep that her breaths become so shallow that the monitors won't pick them up. Very scary. Not sleep inducive.
On Monday we had all kinds of problems until Deb figured out that Grace had plugged her trach with mucus (I know, sounds gross). A quick trach change solved the problem. We are learning to manage this little girl, but it is not easy. I am just glad we have moved on from the anger stage into a more constructive phase. We sincerely wish that things improve for our little friend Hope so that her parents can also get some relief. Being angry is exhausting, but watching your child hurt is just cruel.